Emotional
by OriginalPippie
Summary: Epstein has been dealing with an incredibly emotional issue which has caused him to turn to food for comfort and to hide from his problems. It also causes him a secondary problem for him- uncontrollable eating and struggles with his weight. (Part of my Cutie Pie universe)
1. Chapter 1

It was odd behavior and it needed to be addressed. This behavior clearly had started over the summer but it had entered the classroom. Gabe was quick to pick up on Epstein's new behavior, since it was so unlike him in so many ways. But he wasn't sure how to bring it up. That was because, with the new state Epstein was in, Gabe wasn't sure just how sensitive he would be about it. Plus, Epstein never was one to handle any sort of confrontation well. Gabe learned that early on when Epstein ran away after his friends picked on him for losing a fight.

In the meantime, Gabe tried conducting class as normally as possible. Each day it was getting harder because Epstein was becoming a distraction for Gabe and the other students. The distraction had formed a growing cloud of concern for Epstein's well-being. That was because, there clearly was some sort of unspoken emotional issue behind this new, odd behavior. Epstein was eating in class.

At first, it was limited to small snacks. Then he started eating his entire lunch he had brought from home. And it was never anywhere near lunch time. Gabe asked him one morning if he was getting breakfast at home. Epstein simply answered yes, and then continued eating. It was in that moment when Gabe realized something else that was different about the student. It wasn't much, but Epstein had put on a few pounds during the summer. This made Gabe understand that whatever Epstein was going through, it had been happening for a little while. It also gave Gabe the feeling that things were slowly getting worse for Epstein as each day passed.

One day, after the last class of the day, Gabe stopped Epstein in the hallway. The teen seemed distracted as he fished through his locker, while muttering to himself. Right as Gabe got his attention, Epstein pulled something out of this locker and smiled.

"Ah-hah!" Epstein laughed. "Thought I forgot to bring it." He unwrapped a sandwich straight from the deli, and then he took a big bite from it. "My snack for the way home."

"Epstein do you have a minute?" Gabe asked, approaching him. "I think we should talk."

"Sure sure, Mr. Kotter." Epstein took another bite. "What about?"

"Well I was wondering if there was something bothering you lately."

Epstein paused and then shrugged his shoulders with a small shake of his head. "No. Nothing's bothering me. I am hungry though." He took a couple more bites of his sandwich.

"You've been seeming pretty hungry lately. That is, well you've been eating a lot."

Epstein stiffened mid-bite. His shoulders hunched a little. Slowly eating the bite he took, he frowned. He balled one fist and began hitting his side with it. Turning to face Gabe full on, he looked at him, offended.

"What of it, Mr. Kotter? You got a problem with me eating?"

"Epstein relax." Gabe paused, "I didn't mean to offend you. Bu you know you have. I'm not the only one who's noticed."

Epstein turned away, starting to feel ashamed. "Aw come on! Don't tell me everybody's been talking about me behind my back!"

"Relax. Nobody's talking about you. But we all have noticed. It's pretty hard not to." Gabe watched him for a second. "Listen, Juan, I feel like you might need somebody to talk to. It's clear that you're going through something heavy right now. Maybe you need some help getting the load off." He watched him some more to see his mood soften. "Listen, why don't you come home with me? I think it'll be good for you. You will be able to talk to me and Julie about whatever's bothering you."

Epstein hung his head as he stood there in silence. While watching him, Gabe could tell his wall was beginning to come down. Epstein thought for a second, cleared his throat and then spoke in a much calmer tone.

"Maybe you're right Mr. Kotter."

"So you'll come with me? I think you need it."

Epstein nodded. "Yeah. Yeah I'll go with you."

"Ok. I'll just let Julie know."

...

When they arrived at Gabe's apartment, Epstein headed straight for the couch and sat down. He didn't say a word to Julie when she greeted him. He was immediately withdrawn and could barely look at either of them whenever they said something to him. It had grown apparent that his wall had gone back up on the way there from the school. That was when Gabe quietly mentioned to Julie, Epstein had not said a word to him the whole way there.

Julie came over to the couch and sat next to him. She gently coaxed him to look at her as she spoke to him.

"Juan? Gabe and I can tell something's bothering you. We'd like to help you, but you'll have to talk to us. Give us something to work with."

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk yet, Mrs. Kotter." He said before looking away sadly.

"Well that's okay. But we are here for you."

Epstein nodded before keeping his head low. He remained quiet with little indication that he was going to start talking. After a few minutes, he sighed and attempted to talk, only to have words fail him.

Gabe approached Epstein calmly. He stood in front of the couch and then cleared his throat. "Listen, I'm just going to start talking to you. If I strike any chords with you, I apologize in advance." He looked at Epstein to make sure he had his full attention. "Epstein I think you know what this is about."

"Ok, well what's the problem?" Epstein grumbled.

"You've been eating in my class."

"Sorry Mr. Kotter I didn't know I wasn't allowed to be hungry." Epstein grunted before rolling his eyes.

"Of course you're allowed to be hungry. I mean I don't want you to be hungry. I normally don't have a problem with people eating in class. But Epstein, most people, when they eat in class, only have a small snack. They don't sit down like they're having Thanksgiving dinner."

Epstein's face reddened and he trembled a little. "So what of it?"

"Juan please don't get upset. I don't mean anything bad by it." Gabe said, getting Epstein to settle down. "But it is starting to become a problem."

"How? I'm just eating. Could be doing a lot worse."

"You're right. You're right, it could be something worse. But it's a distraction. Another thing, it's, well, I mean there are other issues. You just don't sit in class eating every day without some kind of problem."

Epstein, growing agitated, stood and started to protest Gabe's words. Julie calmed him and coaxed him to sit and listen.

"Juan, what Gabe is saying, well, we think you may be facing some kind of emotional problems that you're trying to hide from with food." Julie said, trying to remain sensitive. "Juan, is everything ok? Because we are here to talk to you about any problems you may be facing. Maybe we can help you face them."

Epstein sat quietly and kept his eyes off them as much as he could. A mixture of emotions, mostly humiliation, washed over him. He appeared to be trying hard to hide his embarrassment and not let the burring tears in his eyes fall. His thoughts raced. His stomach burned and his mouth was suddenly dry. He felt as though he had shrunk down to a couple inches tall. He swallowed hard, trying to win over the fight he was having against his tears. Slowly he started trying to speak but his words failed to leave him.

"Epstein it's ok. You can talk to us." Gabe encouraged.

"I can't." Epstein said quietly. He closed his eyes. "It's too embarrassing."

"Just… Just try, Juan. We are here to help you through this. We won't judge you." Julie said.

"You promise?"

"Yes, of course, Epstein." Gabe said "We are here for you, completely."

"No jokes?" He swallowed. "Please, I can't handle any jokes right now Mr. Kotter."

"Don't worry. I promise, not a single joke or impression. But please just talk to us. You can trust us."

Epstein sighed. He still couldn't look at them but he moved in closer to them. "The thing is… I… I don't even know what the problem is. I just… all I know is something's wrong. I know I haven't been myself lately, y'know." He sniffed. "All I can say is… well I have been eating… I mean I…" He sighed in frustration and rubbed his eyes, finally giving up the fight against the tears. "I guess… I guess eating is my way of hiding from it, y'know? I can't face it. So I keep eating to keep myself distracted. I need to distract myself so I don't feel… so I don't cry." He finished quietly. He leaned forward and covered his face with his hands. "If I'm not eating them I'm forced to think about it. Like right now."

Julie reached over and brought him into a hug. She softly rubbed his back as he cried quietly into her shoulder.

"Epstein I think you need to face your problem and try to figure out what it is. Because if you don't, then things are just going to get worse for you."

"I know." Epstein said as he pulled away from Julie. He wiped tears away. "I know, but I can't."

"Why can't you?" Julie asked.

"Because I'm scared. I never admit when I'm scared. But now…" he sat quietly for a few seconds, sniffing and trying to fight more tears. "I gotta. I gotta eat something." Panic began rising in him. "This is too much. I gotta eat. I need it."

"No, Juan." Julie said sternly. "You don't need to eat. Now please try to calm down. Just forget about food."

"I can't forget about it. It's the only thing that's going to calm me down, Mrs. Kotter." He took a deep breath. "I mean look at me. You've had to of noticed." He leaned back some and patted his small belly. "I've already gained fifteen pounds. So y'know I've been going through this a little while. I don't think I can stop right now."

"Ok but Epstein, you're going to have to face your problems." Gabe said.

Epstein shook his head and stood up. He shook a little and acted as though he was going to start pacing. "No. I'm sorry…. I…" he took a breath. "Mr. Kotter, Mrs. Kotter, thank you for wanting to help me." He rubbed his eyes. "You gave me thing to think about. But I'm… I'm just not ready yet. I need a little more time."

Gabe took hold of Epstein, placing his hands on his shoulders to steady him. It's ok, Epstein. You're scared. Getting through this is going to take time. But promise us something. When you know you are ready, please don't hesitate to come to us. We will try to help you through this the best that we can. Even if it's just to talk. Come to us right away."

Epstein nodded his head. "Ok Mr. Kotter. Ok you got my promise." He started heading for the door then stopped to turn towards them. "Thank you for trying to help. To be honest, I know I needed to talk to someone. I just feel bad that I didn't know anything I needed to say. But uh, y'know I've got things to sort through first."

"We understand, Juan." Julie said. "Remember we are both here for you. Day or night."

Epstein nodded. "Thank you. I promise I'll get in touch as soon as I'm ready. I won't let you down." He said his goodbyes to them and then headed out the door.

Once Epstein left, Gabe and Julie looked at each other. Neither of them had to say anything because their thoughts were understood. They knew that Epstein would have to hit his breaking point before seeking help. They only hoped that it wouldn't take long, and that he wouldn't get much worse.


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks had passed. Epstein's eating habits had only worsened, as Gabe and Julie expected. He was almost constantly eating and his weight gain was even more apparent, causing him to look a bit on the chubby side. Even though he was always in class, his mind was rarely present. He was always so focused on his food and clearly not dealing with his emotions at all.

Several times his friends tried to express their concern over these changes in him. Every time they did, he made it difficult. It was unpredictable how he was going to react each time. At first, he appeared to be listening to their concerns. But usually he would brush them off and continue eating. But the worse was whenever he would have some kind of emotional outburst. These ones were different than the times when he would react ready to engage in a fight. These outbursts tended to include snapping at them, cursing at them, or even resulting in some form of on-the-verge-of-tears shock. One time he even yelled at them, tossed his food down and ran away down the hallway. Neither of them were sure if he had started crying or not. But either way they were bewildered as to how to handle the situation. That was when they turned to Gabe for help.

During lunch one day, Vinnie, Freddie and Horshack left Epstein alone to eat, and they headed into Gabe's room. They confided in him about Epstein, and he sat them down to talk about the situation.

"Listen," Gabe started "I know Epstein hasn't been himself."

"He's always eating, Mr. Kotter." Horshack interrupted. "Even worse, he don't share his Twinkies with me no more!"

"I know, Arnold. I get the feeling he doesn't share any food with anyone." Gabe sighed. "Epstein has been going through some kind of emotional problems lately. Mrs. Kotter and I have tried talking to him about this but… well he said he wasn't ready to get help."

"Yeah but when will he be ready?" Vinnie asked "He eats everything in sight. Soon there won't be nothing left for him to eat in Brooklyn."

"We'll have to start rollin' Epstein into class." Freddie quipped, trying to make light of the situation. He quickly became serious. "Mr. Kah-tare. How do we help Epstein so that the old Epstein comes back? It's hard to watching him go through this."

"I know, Freddie." Gabe nodded. "It's hard on me too. Hard on all of us. But honestly, I don't think it's nearly as hard on us to watch as it is for Epstein to live through. He's having a rough time. It's best to leave him be until he's ready to get help."

"Mr. Kotter." Horshack said innocently. "Mr. Kotter when Epstein finally gets help will he start sharing his Twinkies again?"

Gabe found it hard to keep from laughing. "Sure Arnold. Sure. But in the meantime… Just give him space. Give him time to work through this. I can tell he does want help. He's just scared right now. But he'll come around."

Even though they weren't quite satisfied with what Gabe told them, they knew he was right. As hard as it was going to be to watch Epstein go through this, they knew it was best to leave him alone until he was ready for help.

...

Later that day, after the bell rang and all the students left, Gabe approached Epstein's desk. Epstein was focused on eating his food. Clearly, he had not noticed that he bell had rung, or that the other students even left. Gabe even had to try a few times to get his attention but those attempts didn't work. Gabe finally kicked Epstein's desk, causing him to jump as though being awoken from a deep sleep.

Epstein looked around in bewilderment and then looked at the clock on the wall. "Mr. Kotter where did everyone go?"

"While you were busy eating, everyone left. School is over, Epstein."

"Are you serious?" He looked at the clock again to confirm the time. "Oh shi- I can't believe I didn't notice class was over."

"From the looks of things, you didn't even notice…" Epstein had started eating again before Gabe could finish his sentence "class." He sighed, watching him eat. "Epstein come on, it's time to go." He sighed again, growing upset. "Juan. Come on now" He grabbed some food away from him. "You needto stop eating."

Epstein took the food back and kept eating. Gabe grabbed Epstein's wrist, causing him to drop some of the food. Epstein looked up at him in disbelief.

"I'm going to say this again. You _need_ to stop eating. Juan look at yourself. You were eating all through class like your life depended on it. You eat in the hallways between classes. You eat everywhere even in gym from what I hear. Every time I see you, you're eating."

"Mr. Kotter I-"

"Juan, listen. You have a problem. It's not just whatever you're trying to hide from emotionally. It's bigger now. You have a problem with food."

Epstein pulled back completely ashamed. He began to choke up as he fought tears. Screams were building up inside him but he was unable to let them out. He moved his mouth to speak, but Gabe stopped him.

"No, don't say anything. You're coming home with me. We need to talk again. Just you, me and Julie like before. We need to get to the root of the problem. We need to get you to face it so that you can stop eating like this."

Epstein looked at him, trying to focus through is welling tears. He swallowed and then nodded his head. He stood up and then reached to pick up his unfinished food, but Gabe stopped him.

"No, Juan. Leave it. You don't need it."

Epstein looked at the food again. He wanted to run. Instead, he pulled his hand away from Gabe's grasp. He took a deep breath and then let Gabe walk him out of the room. After Gabe closed the door, Epstein glanced back to the room, longing for his unfinished food. He then looked back at Gabe, fear growing in his eyes.

"Mr. Kotter I… I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Now come on."

Gabe ushered Epstein down the hall and walked him back to his apartment.

...

Once Gabe and Epstein entered the apartment, Epstein mentioned how he should check something in the refrigerator while turning to walk to it. Gabe grabbed him, and pulled him back away from the refrigerator before he could get anywhere.

"You're not eating. Besides, the only thing in there is a box of baking soda." Gabe joked.

"Oh. Well at least you can't blame me for it." Epstein replied, cracking a slight smile.

"No. Just a teacher's salary." Gabe joked before ushering Epstein to the couch.

Gabe called for Julie, letting her know they were there. A few moments later, Julie left the bathroom and joined them by the couch. When she saw Epstein, she was a little taken aback by his appearance. She composed herself, and then greeted Epstein. They all sat on the couch, and after a little small talk, Julie carefully and sympathetically brought up Epstein's recent weight gain. She tried hard to carefully choose her words so that she didn't offend or embarrass him. After showing that he wasn't offended, Epstein sighed and then went right into expressing his thoughts.

"I know I've put on some more weight. Up to thirty pounds all together." He paused. "Not proud of myself y'know. I uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well it's hard to look at myself in the mirror and see this weight on me." He looked away, starting to feel ashamed.

Julie nodded. "Well let's not worry about your weight for now." She paused to gather her thoughts. "How have you been… dealing with all this? I mean besides eating… have you dealt with anything?"

Epstein sighed and he kept his gazed on the floor. He slowly shook his head. "I ain't. There's been no dealing with anything." He paused for a few moments. "Honestly, it took Mr. Kotter today to get me to realize I've been out of control with my eating. I'm still… still trying to accept that." He said quietly. He fidgeted in his spot and ran his fingers through his hair. He had to swallow hard as he felt tears start forming in his eyes. "I hate myself for all of this. I've never been more ashamed of myself. I know the last time I was here that I had a problem. I just… I was too scared to accept it." He swallowed again, feeling the burn in his throat. As he continued speaking, his voice started coming out a little raspy from fighting his tears. "I was just too focused on my other problem." He sniffed and blinked as tears started to overflow in his eyes. He frantically tried rubbing his eyes to stop the tears before they could fall. "Hey listen you guys got anything to eat? I-I gotta eat something."

"Juan no." Gabe said firmly. "We're not going to let you eat while you're here."

Epstein sniffed and nodded. "Ok." He said quietly.

Julie placed a hand on Epstein's leg. "Just keep talking, Juan. You're doing fine so far."

Again, Epstein nodded and he sniffed a little more. "Ok." He sniffed again. "I think I know what's been bothering me so much. Y'know, ah, what's been making me eat." He took a deep breath. "Now this is hard because it's not me at all. I never would have been bothered by this before. Normally I'd just toughen up and push through it. Probably would just start a fight with one or two of my brothers. Get a few good hits in then I'd feel better."

"Well what is it that's got you so bothered?"

"Mrs. Kotter… I can't believe I'm saying this. But at home, for a while now, I haven't been noticed. By anyone. Nobody notices me no more. And believe me, that's a real hard thing to do in my house. Especially while in a house full of people. I mean it does happen sometimes y'know what I mean? But not as long as it's been going on for me. And when I start fighting my brothers, I'll get noticed real quick y'know. But this time… It's different. Even Ma doesn't notice me. And I feel like nobody wants me around no more." He sat quietly for a little bit as he let tears roll down his face. "It's… It hurts so much not being noticed for so long. Started eating so hopefully I would. Didn't work. Made me feel worse too. And since I felt worse, I kept eating. Kept eating to hide from all this. And it just kept getting worse from there. As you already know."

"Wow… Juan I'm so sorry to hear all that." Julie said

"Yeah I had no idea you were so sensitive." Gabe added

"Well," Epstein sniffed and wiped away some tears "that's on account of me always acting so tough all the time. People always say I'm aggressive. I am. My whole family is. But that don't mean I don't feel nothing. But um…" he sniffed and looked down. "I don't like feeling all this. I don't like expressing my emotions. So times like this are real hard for me."

Not knowing what to say, Julie brought him into a hug. He accepted it and whispered "thank you." She wasn't sure that she fully believed his explanation over what he had been going through. She could tell that there was something that he wasn't saying. She felt he was keeping it to himself for a reason, so she let him. Instead of asking about that, she just let him cry a little bit. Once she was sure that he was calm and done crying she pulled out of the hug, and then brought up other thoughts that she had right then.

"There's just one thing I don't understand, Juan. How on earth didn't your mother ever notice all the food you were eating? I mean didn't she wonder why it was coming up missing?"

"Well, y'see my mother has ten kids, and mostly boys. And y'know boys eat. She's used to food disappearing all the time."

"And that doesn't bother her?" Gabe asked

"Nah." Epstein said while shaking his head. "She always says, growing mouths need food and she has ten of them." He leaned back some and placed a hand on his stomach. "You know what I said before about not gettin' noticed at home no more? Well ma actually hadn't noticed me until recently. Came over and pointed out my weight for the first time. She said," he began imitating his mother's way of speech, "Juan I have ten growing mouths to feed in this house. I hadn't counted on yours eating so much." He returned to his normal voice. "Then she said to me, 'well I guess since you're in high school you're not going to grow any more unless you start spreading out from the sides like you've done." He cringed a little. "That go to me. But she is the only person I'll allow to pick on my weight. I mean she's my mother. What am I supposed to do? Fight her?" He rose a fist, shaking it a little as he continued talking. "Besides, who do you think taught me to fight in the first place?"

The three of them shared a laugh and joked over his last statement. They continued taking over his situation, and things got a little emotional for him again. Several times, Epstein requested something to eat. Each time, his request was quickly dismissed. The last time he asked to eat something, they started talking to him about his weight gain. At first, he drew into himself, feeling pretty ashamed. Then, after listening to them, he relaxed some. He admitted that he needed to get his eating under control. He didn't want to gain any more weight.

"I… I don't want to be this way. I don't like that I've been eating so much." He took a deep breath as he felt his emotions begin to rise again. "I'm ready. I need help. I can't live this way."

"Well that's what we're here for." Gabe said "We want to help you through this."

"That's right. We can help the best we can." Julie said. "You know we're always around when you need to talk. Oh! Juan I can help you exercise we both can. I can help you start a diet to help you lose weight."

He nodded a little. "Ok ok. I could use help with that. What I need is someone to come and smack food out of my hands before I get carried away with eating."

"We can do that for you too." Gabe joked. "But in all seriousness. That's only part of your problem. Tomorrow morning at school, I'll take you to see Mr. Hutchens the school counselor. He's not a high priced therapist but he will do in a pinch. He'll help you sort through your problems."

"Right, right." Epstein nodded. He stood up. "I ah, well, thank you. Both of you. I don't know what would have happened if you guys weren't around for me. Y'know?"

"Well Epstein, we care about you. So helping you with this is easy. We're just glad you're going along with it." Said Gabe a little jokingly at the end.

Epstein grinned. "Thanks Mr. Kotter."

"No problem. Come on, Epstein. I'll take you home."

Gabe walked him to the door. Epstein said goodbye to Julie, and then they left. While walking Epstein home, Gabe felt good that they were able to get through to him. They talked some more about creating a plan to help him get better, as well as more about helping him lose weight. When they were almost at Epstein's house, though, Gabe started picking up something from Epstein. Just like Julie had earlier, Gabe felt there was much more to what Epstein was going through. However, he knew that in the right time, it would present itself. He knew that when it happened, he would be able to be there for Epstein to help him through it.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next several months, Epstein worked as hard as he could to get better. Twice a week he spent time with the school counselor Mr. Hutchins for private counseling sessions. The two of them talked about his emotional issues, and worked on strategies to help Epstein deal with everything without eating. Every day after leaving the counselor, he left with a smile. He truly was beginning to feel better about himself. On occasion he would also spend time talking with Gabe in private, as well as go visit Julie at home. The Kotters were both more than welcoming and willing to help him through everything as much as they could.

Besides all of that, Epstein worked hard, and was determined to lose the thirty pounds he had gained from his emotional eating. It was tough, dieting and exercising. But with help from his friends and the Kotters, he managed to slim back down.

At the end of the school year, Epstein only had ten pounds left to lose, and he was extremely happy with himself. Everyone was happy for him. Even his family took great notice in all the hard work he put himself through, and how well he stuck with everything he was going to help himself get back to normal. He was proud and felt so much lighter in his spirit. Everyone else who had helped him through it was proud of him and happy to have the old Epstein back.

The real test now, was for him to work on losing the final ten pounds and keep on working with the counseling strategies all on his own during the summer break. He left school on the last day, giving big promises to everyone. Promises that he was going to be great on his own. He could handle the last few pounds without help, and he was more than determined not to step back into the same emotional state that put him in such a mess in the first place. He insisted that he was going to do it on his own. And everybody had all the reason in the world to believe him He even believed in himself.

"Don't worry." He said to his friends and teacher before stepping outside of the school. "I've got this."

If only they all had an idea of what was to come for Epstein over the summer. They probably would have paid better attention to those famous last words before the disaster.

...

Nobody had heard anything from Epstein or seen him all summer long. There had been rumors going around town as to his current state, as well as how he fared during the summer. None of the rumors, whether remotely true or not, were good ones, and each one was worse than the last. The truth to these rumors was finally revealed on the first day of school.

Gabe gave roll call at the beginning of homeroom class. Nobody was surprised that Epstein was late. But many of them were worried over what condition he may be in if he showed up. In fact, half the class went by and Epstein still had not shown up. This caused the rumors from the summer to fly around the classroom. But even with the rumors, nobody expected quite what they would see once Epstein finally showed up.

There was a knock on the door, interrupting what Gabe was saying. Gabe went to the door and opened it. A hand holding a small slip of paper was the only thing that came through the door. Gabe took the paper, quipping about what kind of excuse it may be. He then read the note aloud, expecting it to be the usual comically farfetched excuse from Epstein. Only it wasn't funny at all, and it had actually been signed by Mrs. Epstein herself, rather than the typical silly forgery. After reading it, Gabe looked toward the door and called out.

"Ok Epstein. Come on in."

"No." Came Epstein's reply, his voice slightly shaky.

Gabe approached the door. "What gives, Epstein? You show up incredibly late to class and with a legitimate note from your mother. Now you're not even going to come in?"

"Mr. Kotter I don't want to face nobody. I can't. They'll all laugh at me and I can't take it."

"Epstein nobody is going to laugh at you. They're your friends. Besides, you've had everyone worried about you all summer. They all really want to see you."

Epstein was silent for a few minutes. "Fine. But everyone has to promise not to laugh or say nothing."

"Ok we promise. We all promise. No laughing and nobody is going to say anything to you." The class behind him all remarked, agreeing to what Gabe said. "Now, please come in."

"Ok." Epstein paused. "But keep in mind, I'm only here because my mother made me."

A couple minutes went by, and everyone watched the door, waiting for Epstein to walk inside. When he did, there was an audible gasp among several students, while others were in complete silence. Epstein kept his head down so he couldn't see anyone's expressions. He hurried over to his desk and sat down, trying to block out all view of the other students. His head remained downward and he kept his eyes closed. He rubbed his hands over his arms and shook slightly. He swallowed hard a couple times and it appeared as though he was trying to keep from crying. As he sat there he could feel the stares. The feeling of everyone staring at him caused him to slowly become .tense.

"Quit starin' at me!" he shouted before standing back up. He bolted towards the door but Gabe grabbed him and stopped him.

"Juan everything is ok." He said quietly to him. "Just try to relax. Remember, nobody here has seen you all summer, so naturally, well, your appearance is going to be shocking to them. Especially after how hard you worked last year to lose weight."

"Everybody better keep their promise, Mr. Kotter." Epstein mumbled. "I can't take it if they make fun of me."

"Juan, nobody is going to make fun of you. And I can tell they're all concerned. I'm concerned. Look at me." He placed his hands on Epstein's shoulders and had him look up at him. "Juan what happened to you this summer? What caused you to… have such a relapse?"

Epstein looked at him, pain and fear in his eyes, but it was disguised by his natural anger and aggression. "Nothing happened!" He turned with a jerk to face the class. "Ok, ok, right, I know I worked so hard last year to lose weight. Never lost that last ten pounds." He began to huff a little through anger as he spoke. "I _failed_ ok? I failed big time. Yeah I gained weight back. I gained even more than what I had lost! Are you happy?!" He looked at Gabe and softened his demeanor a little. "Forty pounds, Mr. Kotter. I gained _forty_ pounds this summer. Because I slipped once and couldn't get back up. I thought I could handle everything on my own but I failed." He looked down and shook his head. "I can't… I can't be here Mr. Kotter. Not with everyone staring at me and seeing how much of a failure I am!"

"Juan calm down." Gabe sighed a little. "Come on, let's step outside to talk in private."

Still agitated and huffing a bit, Epstein hesitated to accept Gabe's request. He huffed a little more, muttered a quiet "fine," and then dashed out the door. Gabe followed him and shut the door behind them. Epstein hurried o the bench seat in the middle of the hallway and plopped down on it before burying his face in his hands. Gabe approached him calmly and with some caution.

"Talk to me, Epstein. You never lost the last ten pounds you promised to lose. Then you gained forty more pounds. What happened?"

"I already said what happened." Epstein mumbled into his hands. "I failed."

"You failed." Gabe sat beside him. "There has to be a reason. Something caused you to fall back into this."

Epstein pulled his hands away from his face. "Honest?" He paused, thinking a little about what he was going to say. "Mr. Kotter I… well I never actually dealt with the real problem from the beginning. I said I was upset like that because of not being noticed at home. That wasn't the problem. Not at first. It just added to everything."

"Then what was it?"

"You remember Susie? Cutie Pie." Gabe confirmed. "Well we was dating y'know. We got really close. I mean several times we almost-" He cleared his throat "I mean I cared about her. A lot. Then she moved away last summer. Broke things off with me because she didn't think she'd be able to see me again where she was moving." He looked at Gabe sorrowfully. "Broke my heart, Mr. Kotter. I ain't never had my heart broken before. I didn't know how to handle it. I guess I got depressed y'know. And when I got depressed I started eating. When nobody in my family seemed to notice or care, well that's when things got worse. I started eating uncontrollably as you know."

"Wow Juan I had no idea you even cared about her so much."

"Well I did. Still do. I mean, it ain't like I can't care about nobody." He sighed "But I was told she has moved back and is going to Buchanan again." He said sadly.

"She's back? Epstein that's great news! Now you can see her again. Maybe she will be what you need to get through all this."

Epstein shook his head. "Nuh uh. No way Mr. Kotter. I'm not seeing her. I can't."

"Why not? Don't you want to see her?"

"I do. But I can't. Not like this. I can't let her see me with all this weight."

"So how are you going to keep from seeing her?"

"I dunno. I figure maybe I could avoid her long enough and lose weight before I see her."

"But Epstein. Buchanan isn't that big of a school. Even you can't avoid someone for that long." Gabe paused "Listen, you still really care about her. And from what I remember of the two of you being together, she felt the same way about you. I think you need to see her. Even if it's just to talk. If she still cares about you like you care about her, she's going to be happy to see you and she won't even care about your weight."

"You think so Mr. Kotter?"

"I think you can trust me on this one. Susie is a good kid. Just go find her, talk to her. And the details will sort themselves out from there."

Epstein nodded "Alright. I'll do that." He stood up. "But I do need to lose this weight." He patted his stomach. "Even if Susie doesn't care about it, I do. Besides," he looked at Gabe "I can't let nobody have a reason to make fun of me."

Gabe smiled "I don't think you have reason to worry about that right now." He held a hand out towards the door "Now will you come back to class?"

"Yeah." Epstein nodded. "Yeah I'll come back to class." He started to walk to the door before stopping to turn back to face Gabe. "Thank you Mr. Kotter. I don't know how worse off I'd be if not got you helping me with this."

"No problem, Epstein. I'm happy to help."

Epstein gave a small grin before he and Gabe entered the classroom.


	4. Chapter 4

The Sweathogs roamed the halls during lunch time. They had decided that catching up with one another and talking to Epstein about his current state was far better time spent than sitting in a crowded cafeteria, surrounded by people they didn't like, and bad food. As they talked, they managed to get Epstein to open up a bit about what he had been going through since the previous school year.

"Hey listen, Epstein," Vinnie started out "you're my best friend. And I know you don't normally talk about your emotions or nothing like that. So we understand if you don't wanna talk. You don't gotta if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay Vinnie. I don't mind talkin'." Epstein replied.

"Well do you mind starting with how you, ah," Freddie began motioning to Epstein's body "got to be looking like the Pillsbury Dough Boy?"

Epstein glared at him. "Hey now watch it, Washington."

"Aw come on Little Juan." Horshack said before placing his hands on Epstein's hips. "I mean _Big_ Juan. We just wat to talk."

Epstein, not pleased, turned and grabbed Horshack by the shirt collar. "Horshack if you want use of your hands you better keep them off me. And don't be calling me that again. Alright? 'Cause, just because I'm heavier than what I was before doesn't mean I ain't as tough. Got that?" He finished with his intimidating smiled.

Horshack grinned nervously. "Sure! Sure! I won't touch you or call you no names no more."

"Good." Epstein let him go. He then looked at his other friends. "Listen, I don't mind talkin' about what happened to me. But keep in mind, my weight is, ah, well it's kind of a sensitive area for me Y'know? So no jokin' about my weight, huh?"

They all made comments, agreeing to this.

"Ok, Epstein. But could you tell us what happened?" Vinnie asked. "How did you get like this? Especially after how hard you worked last year to get your weight down."

"Well… Honest, Vinnie, I didn't even realize until recently that I gained so much in the first place. I mean I know I had gained weight y'know but see… I guess at first I didn't care. So I just didn't pay no attention to how much I was gaining."

"Ok we get that." Freddie said "But what made you not care?"

Epstein was quiet as he gathered his thoughts. "See well I had become real depressed, y'know. And I learned real fast that when I'm depressed, I eat. When I started eating, I saw myself gaining weight back. But I was so depressed that I didn't care. Like I said, I didn't realize I had gained so much until recently. And let me tell you, once I did realize it, it shook me up real bad. That's how come I almost didn't come to school today."

He walked over to the bench seat in the middle of the hallway and sat down.

"The thing is, while I was depressed, not many people in my family bothered with me. In fact, the only ones who cared enough to come check on me from time to time was my ma and Carmen." He looked at them as they joined him by the bench seat. "Actually that's how I realized about my weight." He waited until they were situated before he continued with his story.

 _Epstein sat in his bedroom, eating the last of the food he had brought in with him. He leaned back against his bed and exhaled deeply. Noticing that his food was gone, he started to get up to go get more. Before he could stand, his sister, Carmen, knocked on the open doorway before peeking into the room._

 _"Hey Juan. Mind if I come in?"_

 _He shrugged. "Sure. Might be nice to have company that talks back." He motioned towards the cages that held his pet mice and hamsters._

 _Carmen walked over and sat next to him. "Thought you might have been having a rough day. Seeing that you kinda lashed out at Pedro earlier after he took your last Twinkie." She nudged him a little. "Hey you doing alright?"_

 _"Yeah." He sighed. "Yeah for the most part."_

 _They were quiet for a moment._

 _"Juan?" He looked at her. "Why do you keep eating? You've been like this for a while. I don't like seeing my big brother so depressed all the time."_

 _He looked at her and then looked away sadly. "Just a lot I've been going through I guess."_

 _She moved in closer, resting her head on his shoulder. "Well I'll listen if you need to talk."_

" _Thanks, sis. I know I've been eating a lot. Can't help it. I just… I got so emotional and I can't handle it so…"_

 _She nodded, understanding. "I get it. Well if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Any time."_

 _He nodded. After remaining silent for a few moments, he started talking to her, spilling everything that was inside him. Everything he needed to say for a while, started coming out. Then, he brought up a subject that really piqued her interest. He spoke about Cutie Pie breaking his heart the summer before, sparking his depression._

 _With this information, Carmen started letting him know something he had not expected to hear. Cutie Pie had moved back to Brooklyn and she was going to Buchanan for the coming year. At first, this brought a smile to his face. He got excited, saying he couldn't wait to see her. Then his smile left as quickly as it had arrived. His heart sank. He expressed how he couldn't see Cutie Pie yet. Not until after he could lose the weight he gained. As he said this, he mentioned how it shouldn't be that much weight to lose before school started. Carmen gave him a sad smile before standing up._

" _Juan… ok you want to lose weight before seeing Susie again? Do you have any idea when school starts?"_

 _He shook his head. "Honestly, Carmen, I lost track of the days since this depression hit. How long before school starts? One month? Two?"_

" _Next week."_

" _Really?" His eyes widened in surprise._

 _She nodded. "Yeah. So if you don't want to see her until you lose weight then… well I guess good luck not being fat in a week." She turned and then left the room before her brother could react._

 _Epstein looked towards the doorway, stunned and confused. "What? Carmen!"_

 _He sighed and stood up, mumbling to himself in a weird combination of Hebrew and Spanish. He walked to the bathroom and made sure no one was in there. He took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself before waling over to the dreaded scale. Once he finally made it to the scale, he closed his eyes and stepped onto it._

 _When he opened his eyes, he watched as the needle moved to a number he never wanted to see. Much to his dismay, he had gained much more weight than he thought he had over the summer._

" _Maldita sea!1" He shouted, not realizing his mother was nearby._

" _Juan! Watch your language!"_

 _He jumped a little. "Sorry ma." He sighed. "I'm just mad at myself." He stepped off the scale and then turned to look at himself in the mirror. "I'm just now realizing how much weight I gained."_

" _Oh?" She stepped into the room. "What made you just now realize that?"_

 _Epstein frowned and rolled his eyes a little. "Carmen called me fat."_

" _Oh is that all?"_

 _His mother moved to stand next to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and they gazed at their reflections together._

" _Juan look at you. Believe it or not you've always been the most sensitive out of all my boys." He frowned, glancing away from his reflection. "Looking at you now and what you've been through proves it." She kissed his temple. "Your weight isn't your biggest problem right now. But it will be if you keep eating your emotions."_

" _How do I get through this, ma?"_

 _"With time." She had him turn to have her and she held the sides of his face in her hands. "But Juan, you have to stop eating all the food the minute I bring it into the house. I can't keep affording to buy extra groceries because of you."_

 _He looked down, shamefully. "Sorry ma. I'll try to stop."_

 _She brought him into a hug, allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder._

Once Epstein finished with his story, he looked at his friends. At first, neither of them knew what to say and there was an awkward air among them.

"Hold up, Epstein." Freddie said. "Yo' sister called you fat and that made you not want to come to school? Man I should play that card ev'ry time my brother calls me ugly."

"Ha ha very funny Washington." Epstein rolled his eyes. "Just watch it."

"Sorry you went through that, Little Juan." Horshack said innocently. "But when are you going to share your Twinkies with me again?"

"I ain't havin no Twinkies, Arnold. I'm goin' on a diet starting today."

"Oh?" Horshack asked. "So does that mean you're going to be exercising all the time again?"

"Only if I'm going to lose this weight. It's going to take a while, which is why I'm starting now."

"Good. Good for you, Epstein." Vinnie said "We'll be here to help like last time. We'll be your personal trainers helping you right down to the last pound."

"Yeah but I think we need to start chargin' you." Freddie said. "I say five bucks per pound, and you want to lose, what? Fifty pounds? So that'll be…" He thought for a moment and did calculations in the air with his fingers. "Well I ain't good at math but I assume it'll add up to a lot."

Epstein shook his head. "I ain't payin' you guys to help me lose weight. Just help me like you did last time. And I promise, for real this time, I'm not gaining a single ounce back."

While they all agreed with what Epstein was saying, the bell rang to end lunch period. The four of them started heading to their next classes. They all knew for certain that Epstein was absolutely serious with what he said. They believed that, just as long as there wasn't anything that would cause any setbacks, he was going to lose the weight and keep it off.

1\. God Dammit in Spanish


	5. Chapter 5

It was the end of the day on the second day of school, and just one day after Epstein declared how serious he was going to be about losing weight. He was absolutely livid as he stormed into Gabe's classroom. He quickly shut the door and went over to Gabe's desk. Slamming his hands onto the desk top, he completely took Gabe by surprise.

"Judy Borden!" Epstein shouted

"What?" Gabe asked, still shocked from Epstein's sudden entrance. "What about Judy Borden? Epstein what's going on?"

Epstein huffed a little bit. "Judy Borden, Mr. Kotter." He said through gritted teeth, trying not to shout again. "She has been picking on me since yesterday. Making fun of me because of my weight. She _laughed_ at me, Mr. Kotter!"

"So Judy Borden laughed at you, Epstein. It's not that big of a deal. Especially not enough for you to come barging in here after school hours ranting like a maniac."

"But it's Judy Borden! Mr. Kotter, for years I have picked on her for her weight. Everyone has. She's not even all that chubby. But we still do it. Now after all the years I've picked on her for her weight, she's laughing at me for mine! I can't take it, Mr. Kotter. I can't take people laughing at me or picking on me over anything, let alone my weight!"

"Ok Epstein, calm down. I understand why you would be upset. But you still need to calm down. Forget about Judy."

Epstein huffed some more as he moved away from Gabe's desk. He covered his face with his hands for a moment as he began to take deep breaths. He slowly walked around the room as he calmed himself.

"To be honest," Epstein said as he returned to Gabe's desk, "Judy actually has a cute figure. You just don't notice much because she's short. If she was taller, her weight would spread out more evenly and you'll be able to see her figure better." He paused "But don't tell nobody I said that. She don't need to know she's cute. So I keep pickin' on her. But now she's laughing at me!"

"Relax, Epstein." Gabe chuckled a little. "So she's laughing at you. Serves you right for picking on her so long. Maybe you shouldn't pick on her so much if you secretly like her."

"Hey now," Epstein warned "you can think someone is cute. But you don't gotta like them."

Gabe laughed. "Ok fair enough. But seriously, Epstein. You should forget about Judy and go home."

Epstein reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a package of Twinkies. "I can't yet, Mr. Kotter." He opened the package. "Need more time to calm down."

"Juan, put those Twinkies into the trash." Gabe brought the trash can over to Epstein. "Drop them. You know better than that." Epstein hesitated then he dropped the Twinkies into the trash. "It's only your second day and you're already trying to cheat?"

"Yeah, yeah. Guess I lost it for a second. You're right, I should just go home. Forget about Judy." He started to leave then turned to face him. "Thanks for letting me let off some steam. And, ah, sorry for yellin' at you like that. I didn't mean nothin' by it."

"I know, Epstein. Go home." Gabe said. Epstein nodded and then left the room.

As soon as Epstein stepped into the hallway, he stopped dead in his tracks, taken completely by surprise. He never expected to see her right then so he had no time to prepare himself. He just stood there shocked as he stared at her.

"Hey, Juan." Cutie Pie said, feeling a little awkward. "Wanted to see you. Saw you go into Mr. Kotter's room so I waited for you."

"Ah…" he swallowed and then tried to think of something to say to her, but his mind wasn't completely present.

"Let me help you out." She said with a small grin. "How about you start with a hello?"

"Y-Yeah." He rose his hand and waved while giving her an awkward smile. "Hey."

Epstein cleared his throat before slowly stepping away from his spot. He took a few steps towards her then paused, unsure of if he should move any closer.

"So, ah, you're back."

"Yeah. Yeah I am." She played with her hands, unsure of where to put them.

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"Well I didn't think I'd be back." She said. "But plans changed and well…. Here I am." She bit her lower lip nervously. "Are you upset to see me?"

"Nah." He shook his head, only partly lying. "Not really. I mean… I heard you were back. I just haven't exactly wanted to see you."

"Why not?" She asked tilting her head a little. "Are you still real upset with me?"

"Well, ah, see." He waved his hand a little as he tried gathering his thoughts. "That's not really it. I'm more upset with myself. I'm ashamed and I, ah… I didn't want you to see me the way I am." He stepped closer to her, closing the space between them up to within a foot or two. "Susie I… well you hurt me real bad when you left. I've been real depressed."

"Yeah… I can certainly see it must have done a number on you."

Her statement caused him to feel uncomfortable. He glanced away, and his cheeks flushed red. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he looked down at the floor.

"I didn't want to see you on account of my weight." He paused, shifting a little on his feet. "I'm just… too embarrassed with myself." He said quietly.

"It's ok, Juan. You don't have to be embarrassed."

She moved closer and offered a hug. He hesitated at first and then accepted the hug. After a moment, she moved to pull out of the hug, but he brought her back in.

"I missed you, Juan. I wish I didn't have to leave."

He pulled out of the hug but still had his hands on her arms. "Why did you leave?"

"I had to. My mom left my dad and took me and my sister with her. My parents wound up getting a divorce. We wound up moving back to Brooklyn because my mom won the house in the settlement."

"Oh wow… I wish I knew all that was going on." He moved away from her a little. "See what happens, Susie? You leave and I get fat." He grinned, chuckling a little to let her know he wasn't upset. "Shoulda never left, Susie. I wouldn't have gained this weight."

"Well I hardly think I'm responsible for that." She grinned.

He shook his head. "No, honey. This was all my own fault. Y'see when you left, I was so heartbroken. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't' handle it." He sat on the bench seat and motioned for her to join him. "I've never been heartbroken before."

"Oh Juan, I'm so sorry. I feel awful."

"Honey please don't be sorry. See I didn't know how to handle it, like I said. I thought I had to toughen up and push through it. Been told all my life to toughen up, toughen up. So I thought I needed to find a way to keep from crying. I didn't want to cry." He was quiet as he felt himself having to fight his emotions. "This is hard to talk about."

"Go on." She encouraged, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He took a breath and began feeling tears form in his eyes. "Well I learned fast that if I ain't eating then I'm crying. And as you can see," he motioned along his body before placing a hand on his stomach. "I ate about fifty pounds worth of tears." His eyes widened some as he made a realization. "Wow. Make that about eighty." He looked at her. "Not together though. See I lost weight then gained more back. It was a whole big thing I went through."

"Wow…." She sighed, feeling his pain. "Juan I… I don't know what to say. I feel awful for everything you must have gone through. If I had any idea you would have had such a rough time without me, I would have asked to stay close by so that we could stay together. But everything happened so fast and I pretty much went along with my mom's plan." She looked at him sadly. "Are you doing okay now?"

"I wasn't." He shook his head. "I haven't been anywhere near okay since you left last summer." He wrapped an arm loosely around her waist. "But now I think I can start getting better. We don't gotta be together like we were. But I'm glad you're back in school."

He hugged her and they let it linger a little.

"Juan… I never wanted to be without you. Um…" She slid out of his arms and looked at him. "If you're willing…. I'm willing to make a fresh start with you."

He grinned softly. "That would make me real happy. But… even with you here, it still might take me time to work through everything I've been going through."

She nodded. "I understand. And I am here for you. Whenever you need me."

"Thanks honey." He hesitated, wanting to kiss her on the cheek. He opted to hold her hand instead, giving it a small squeeze. "You have no idea what it means to me… just seeing you again."

"I have an idea." She hugged him again before standing up. "I suppose we should be heading home." She grinned, watching him stand. "Might be nice if you walked me home."

He smiled. "Sure. I'd love to walk you home."

They both smiled at each other before Epstein escorted her out of the school.


	6. Chapter 6

During the next week, Epstein and Cutie Pie had spent every day together after school. They even spent every possible minute that they could together while in school. They were inoperable just like nothing had happened to break them up. As happy as they were to be reunited, they still took things slow, and mostly spent time trying to catch up. Of course, there naturally was a flirty chemistry between them and a few stolen kisses here and there, but it was never anything beyond that.

While Epstein was much happier and much more like his old self, he knew that he still had some emotional issues to work through before he was one hundred percent. Also, there was the matter of his weight, which he was focused on losing, with help from Cutie Pie and his other friends. He was working hard and made sure he stayed on track with his weight loss goal. Although there were a few times where he almost slipped up, and Cutie Pie had to slap food out of his hands before he could eat it. He admitted that if anyone else would have done that, he would have been upset. But since it was her, he allowed it because she was his best motivator. (And the prettiest.)

The other Sweathogs immediately took notice to how well the two of them were together. They talked about how happy they both seemed since their reunion. Vinnie even personally thanked Cutie Pie for coming back and bringing the old Epstein with her. That was wen Epstein admitted that there still was a ways to go, but he felt a bit better about himself. He knew that with Cutie Pie as his cheerleader, he would never go back to the emotional state he was in.

...

One day after school, Epstein and Cutie Pie entered her house together, after finishing a run. Epstein was exhausted and complained about needing a rest. Cutie Pie motioned that he follow her upstairs. The idea of what could happen in her bedroom was enough incentive to get him moving up the stairs.

Once in her room, Cutie Pie handed him a towel to dab off his sweat from the run. He accepted it and then sat on the floor against her bed. She sat next to him and placed a hand on his knee.

"Juan I want to talk."

"Sure, sure. What about?"

"You just seemed… well a bit off while we were running. I actually noticed when you first showed up earlier. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." He looked away from her and into his lap. "Yeah… well sort of. No." He was quiet for a moment. "I guess sometimes my depression starts acting up a bit. But I'll be okay."

"Well do you want to talk about it?"

He leaned back some and wrapped the towel around his neck. "I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Ok. Just start with the first thing that comes to mind."

"Alright." He held his breath before releasing it in a heavy, slow exhale. "Sometimes I still get bothered… I mean well I start feelin' pretty bad thinking about when you left. It was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with y'know? I can't stand the thought of not having you." He looked at her, peering into her eyes. "I'm happy you're back and that we're starting over. But the thought of losing you still hurts. Besides, everyone has been helping me get through this, especially Mr. and Mrs. Kotter. But honey, nobody's been helping me as much as you have. And I don't want to lose that. I'm scared of where I would be if you never came back."

She nodded, taking in everything he said to her. "Juan, you can't keep thinking about what you went through, or how much worse you could be right now. I'm glad to see you getting better since I've been back." She turned toward her record player beside her and rummaged through some records before putting one on. "Don't focus on the past. Move forward." She said as the music started playing. It was a song that they both liked a lot.

"I know I shouldn't think about all that. But what I went through really messed me up y'know? It shook me up real bad and I-"

She cut him off by singing along to the song. " _Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better._ "

He tried to say something else but she kept singing, causing him to listen.

" _Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better._ "

Epstein tried again to say something more, only to have her keep singing to him. He relaxed, commenting on how pretty her voice was. He stared off into space as he listened to the song and Cutie Pie singing along with Paul McCartney. She saw him start to drift into his thoughts, clearly still not feeling better. So she drew him back into the song, emphasizing certain lines.

" _And every time you feel the pain, hey Jude refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders._ "

He looked at her, really beginning to let the words sink in.

" _For well you know that it's a fool, who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder._ "

Epstein continued to listen to her sing. He smiled a little as he couldn't help but think about how, even though her voice wasn't perfect, she still could hit every note along with Paul. At one point, he leaned in and rested his head on her shoulder as he listened to her sing.

Once she was finished singing, and the song was over, she stopped the record and looked at him. She grinned a little to see that he was calm and no longer being bothered by his thoughts.

"Thanks, Susie. That was nice."

"I find music very soothing. It's always helped me when I needed to heal. Honestly, it's what got me through the time we spent apart. I know I broke it off with you but it was the last thing I ever wanted to do." She took his hand, rubbing her thumb over top of it. "I did it because I thought we'd never get to see each other again. I had no idea where we'd move to or that it was possible I'd come back."

He pulled her into a hug. "Don't ever leave me again, honey. I don't think my heart could take a round two."

"Honestly, mine either." She pressed her forehead against his. "And Juan, I hope you understand why I sang that song to you."

He slowly nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I ain't that stupid." He turned his eyes up to look into hers. "Thank you. I needed to hear those things. You're right. Music does help." He kissed her nose. "But honey, you here in my arms helps a hell of a lot more."

"Good."

She grinned and then the two of them kissed. They couldn't help but let the kiss linger and eventually lead into other things.

...

"Hey Julie have I ever told you-"

"Aw Gabe. Can't you go without a joke tonight?" Julie complained, interrupting him. "I'm tired."

"Julie relax. It's not a joke. I was going to tell you about Epstein."

"Oh yeah?" She perked up some. "How is he doing?"

"Fine, Julie, fine. Actually he's been doing great lately. See, you remember his old girlfriend Cutie Pie?"

"Susie?" She nodded. "Yes I remember her."

"She came back to Buchanan. The two of them reunited, and Julie, he couldn't be happier."

"That's wonderful!" She smiled. "Good for him! I bet she'll be just the thing to help him come through his depression. You've been saying he wasn't doing well again." She cringed. "I still can't believe he gained back that weight after he worked so hard to lose it last year."

"Yeah I know. He's been feeling horrible about it. He's even had Judy Borden making fun of him for his weight."

She gasped. "No! Aw poor Juan."

"But he's fine. He's going to be okay. See, Susie has been here for him. She's helping him get through all of this. And you know what? He has confided in me that she was the cause of his depression and all the eating he had been doing."

She leaned in closer and frowned in confusion. "What? But she's been helping him you said."

"She has. Now that she's back. She had left last summer. Her moving away is what started the whole thing because it broke his heart so bad to lose her. But now she's back and they've been inseparable. He talks to her, and she listens. She's even helping him lose weight. He says there's still a ways to go with all this, but he's got a good start. He's really serious about getting better, Julie. He wants to be himself again and I can see him beginning to return a little more each day."

"Well that's great news, Gabe! I'm happy to hear about this."

"Yeah me too. I'm glad he's finally dealing with his emotions in a healthy way. In any way really."

"This really is wonderful news."

She smiled and then brought him into a hug. They remained silent for a few moments before Julie broke the silence.

"Gabe. Go ahead."

"Go ahead what?"

"Tell me a joke. I know you want to."

He pulled away from her, looking at her seriously. His smile quickly broke through and he chuckled. "Hey Julie have I ever told you about my great uncle Max who lived in Tallahassee?"

She grinned. "No. Go ahead."

"Well you see Uncle Max he-"

Gabe told her the joke as he always had, causing her to let out a small laugh as usual. Immediately following the joke, they went back into talking about Epstein, Cutie Pie, and everything he had gone through because of her. They were so proud and happy for Epstein for being able to open up completely, and turn himself around after going through so much emotional trauma. They knew that things for him were only going to get so much better from there.


End file.
